"Father Tom" Hartman
The Man Beyond The Media
By Lee Keil

He's known not only to the faithful on Long Island familiar with local cable programming such as "Father Tom," but to millions of viewers across the country, thanks to regular appearances on "Good Morning America," "Imus In The Morning," and the nationally syndicated program "The God Squad." For a large percentage of the more than 100 public appearances he made in the last year, "Father Tom" as he likes to be called , could be found in the company of his co-host and best friend Rabbi Marc Gellman spreading the word of God and a message of love to audiences of all religions, races, and socioeconomic backgrounds.

It would be easy to believe that Father Tom, Director of Radio and Television at TeLIcare, had planned a career in the public eye. He's known and welcomed into the offices of many a CEO on and off Long Island, he's written four books (two with Rabbi Gellman),and his presence in front of both the camera and a live audience of any size might suggest years of formal education and training in broadcasting. Though the words "if St. Paul were alive today, he would go to the media" uttered by an instructor at Our Lady of Angels Seminary seemed curious back then, little could Father Tom had imagined how significant those words would be in his future. The truth is, a life of celebrity was the farthest thing from his mind when he was ordained and later served as Parish Priest in Seaford during the early 70's.

In spite of his apparent comfort in the very public role as "ambassador to the mainstream", Father Tom's favorite role is much smaller, private - "I love being a parish priest. I love being part of the rhythm of life. I love being invited into critical moments of peoples lives. That thread persists in my life." In addition to all his other responsibilities he finds time to say mass almost every day which serves to keep him both grounded and focused and he has presided at over 4,000 weddings! I saw Father Tom for the first time when the father of a neighbor died. Back then I had no idea of his background but I was impressed by his manner and moved by his words.

I was surprised to learn that it was personal friend Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, who encouraged him not to be afraid of death and dying but to "walk into it." He has embraced this philosophy and in doing so has helped close to one thousand people prepare to join God. In the last year Father Tom's experienced death in a very personal sense when his brother Jerry died after four years with AIDS. He is now involved in a project to build a "home" (rather than a hospital or hospice) in West Babylon so that even the "poorest of the poor" have a place to go in the last stages of their illness. While greatly saddened to no longer have the physical companionship of his brother, he is at peace with the loss. When reflecting upon how his brother lived he said "we're here with whatever time we have to love God and love people, he did that. And if you achieve that and live it, then whether you are here for 40 years or for 80 years is really incidental in terms of the history of the universe."

An easy going manner and sense of humor are reflected in the decor of his crowded office. A teddy bear with clerical collar perched high on a bookshelf, a golf bag toting Santa Claus, photographs, other memorabilia and lots of papers - piles of papers, suggest someone who doesn't obsess over orderliness. At 6'2'' Father Tom can appear quite imposing when standing, sitting across from him, speaking with him one-on-one, is quite another matter. It was difficult to have the ear of this knowledgeable and compassionate clergyman and keep from asking for answers to all my personal questions of faith. In the same vein when our conversation occasionally brushed against those private issues, Father Tom made an instinctive shift from interviewee to parish priest and back again within minutes. This facility for shifting gears almost imperceptibly is an invaluable tool in his chosen field. More than once he expressed an authentic sense of wonder and excitement, one I wish I could rediscover, such as when he said "I think when we ponder what the universe is all about, we realize on some level that some force bigger and better and more holy and more inclusive and more creative and more intelligent than ourselves created all if this, I am just amazed at how little I know. I compare the earth like one grain of sand on Jones's beach and Mars and Jupiter are just two or three grains away...but there are nine beaches!"

Though we might on occasion question the existence of God, such doubts have never plagued Father Tom. "My relationship with God had always been a very loving God and a very caring and merciful God. A God who is always present. I've never doubted the existence of God. I felt that the church was a very special place to reach out to people." He became a priest, he says, simply "because I love God and I love people." While the path he chose to spiritual fulfillment was with an institutionalized religion , he understands " we can all connect with God in a variety of ways, in a park, at a beach, a book, each of us hones out special places that are meaningful for us." For all of our differences and the individual paths people choose, what is important is that most of us "are just all trying to figure out how best to love God, love people, love ourselves and make a difference in this world." Recognizing that we have an instinct toward spirituality, the question then remains "how and were do we express it or celebrate it?" particularly if our beliefs are outside of a church or institution. Father Tom is very clear on at least two ways. The first would be by becoming involved in causes we believe in such as building an AIDS center, distributing food to the needy. Another way is through meditation and contemplation. Though finding the time to meditate or pray is often difficult for many of us, Father Tom feels it is essential. He brought home that point by remarking "the image I have in my own life is that God is a potter and I am a piece of clay, if the clay is always running, the potter can't shape it."

We all know that life isn't always beautiful and wonderful , we are not always loving, giving, patient or kind or whatever but according to Father Tom that's all part of God's plan. "God created the world with a certain number of holes in it so we had something to do! Patch up the negative things and appreciate the good things." When I asked him what message he would like to share with Third Millennium readers his response was " My central message is that God really loves you. In terms of "getting it" in this world, we are meant to know we are loved by God, we are meant to love God, love others and love ourselves. And that's what it's all about."

For scheduling information concerning Father Tom's programs, please check your daily Newsday TV listing guide or see the TeLIcare website at : http://www.telecaretv.org